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Ain't This Write?

Student Assignment

Each of the following "notes" was supposedly received by a school attendance office. It seems that the authors failed to proofread them. Your assignment is to do so for them. In the space provided beneath each, rewrite it as its author probably intended. Be certain to proofread your own work for spelling, capitalization, punctuation, clarity and legibility.

PLEASE REMEMBER: A complete sentence

  • begins with a capital letter
  • ends with a punctuation mark (usually a period)
  • contains at least a subject and a verb

1. john was absent yesterday because he had a stomach

 

2. My son is under the docters care and could not take P.E. please execute him

 

3. Please excuse joey friday, he had loose vowels.

 

4. Chris did not came to school yesterday becaus of an acre in his side.

 

5. mary could not cum to skool last weeke. Her very close vanes bother her

 


The above "notes" are based on those collected by Alan Dundes and Carl R. Pagter, and published in their book Work Hard and You Shall Be Rewarded: Urban Folklore from the Paperwork Empire, pages 140-141, Indiana University Press (1975).  In the spirit of urban folklore, I have taken the liberty of making slight modifications before passing them on.

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original web posting: Thursday, September 10, 1998
last modified: Sunday, November 21, 2004